“I’m so sorry about your husband, I don’t even know what to say…..so here’s a series of Doctor Who GIFs!”
i have woken up with lots of mouth + tooth slime and eye crust. quick does anyone want it before i clean it off. speak now or forever hold your peace
we need better sex/gender anatomy education in this country because i swear to god i was convinced that girls peed out of their bumhole until i was like 19
aren’t you 19 now
it’s been a day of discovery
i slowly unravel my shimmering ponytail, waving my head left to right until it all unfolds majestically around my shoulders. i prance into the battlefield deflecting enemy fire with my impenetrably silky hair. the war is won and i am awarded many medals
i hope you all remember each morning before you exit the house for work or school to leave a bowl of cereal on the front lawn just in case any hungry butterflies are passing through the area
ah yes brilliant, a woman, time to immediately leave a youtube comment about whether i find her attractive or not
“id bang her” i type, stopping between each letter as my vapid bros gimme high-fives
“I’D BANG HER!!!” i triumphantly scream once more, before snapping out of my daydream. i awake alone in my basement with 9 fluttershy figurines jammed up my ass
i…i…i’d bang her
